I HATE it When That Happens

Photo by Camila Quintero Franco on Unsplash

Yep. Happened again.

Another writer. ANOTHER writer. Validated the same basic points.

Worse, he did a really, really good job of it. I’ll share it in a sec.

Now look, I live what he wrote about. Which is why I write about it.

I follow Andrew Merle and a few others because they write about some of the key issues that affect how well you and I live, which is in so very many ways determined by how we eat.

Over and over again people have turned to exercise as a way of losing weight. It largely doesn’t work, because while exercise is absolutely essential, it is not the best way to drop the pounds. But then,

Again and again and again, we keep saying, thin isn’t fit isn’t thin. FIT is fit. Fit is function, and vibrant health. That begins with proper fuel.

The substances we ingest, most of which are arguably substances as opposed to food (Cheetos? ANYTHING made by Frito-Lay or Hostess?) are effectively either medicinal or toxic. Something goes into our bodies, the body responds to it. While water seems pretty neutral, in fact, it isn’t, often (thanks to our feckless leaders) full of lead poisoning. And kindly, don’t drink from ANY lovely high mountain stream in the Rockies, well, because shit. Other people’s shit and their dog shit. In other words, girardia. I’ve had it. Not pleasant.

(BTW that’s the water Coors puts in their beer, just saying)

Nothing is neutral. So when you and I are all about health and being fit and clean eating (there really is no such thing, our shit still stinks) it means that given what we have to work with, a good approach is to make the best of what we have.

Andrew Merle’s first article that I want to share:

First of all, while I acknowledge that the title is pure clickbait because of its implied promise, I want to commend Andrew for his typically solid reporting. Of course, all I have to do is link to his stuff, right, and I look like a hero, for if you’re not following him (you might want to) you’re missing out on some really good writing about nutrition.

From his piece, here is the MAGIC PILL TO TURNING BACK THE CLOCK ON AGING:

For the first time, a randomized, controlled clinical trial has demonstrated the reversal of biological age. This trial also marks the first time a diet and lifestyle intervention has been proven to reduce biologic aging.

…What exactly was this magical intervention?

It focused on just 4 basic, common-sense pillars of health: Diet, Exercise, Sleep, and Stress Management.

The diet protocol?

The diet protocol was notably low carb and restricted all grains, legumes/beans, dairy, and added sugar. Additionally, participants in the treatment group practiced time-restricted eating, avoiding all food daily between 7pm — 7am.

OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, you may say.

Look. Some wag on Medium the other day barked hard at me for pointing out much the same thing (many of us do, why? BECAUSE IT’S TRUE, THANK YOU) and effectively said that such advice was just so….hackneyed. My word but you get her point.

Such advice is so old, ancient, whiskered, stupid.

Okay. right. And I wonder what kind of shape said writer is in? Because for my part, since I live this way, do these things and have for years, that’s why on my 67th birthday this year I hit the gym floor and punched out 100 men’s pushups without stopping. Kindly, sis, show me you can do that and we’ll talk about how hackneyed and stupid this advice is.

I will refrain, for once, from pointing out how stupid that remark is (oops I did it anyway) but here’s the piece, folks: there are NO hacks, NO magic pills, NO go-arounds for life’s basics.

NONE. NADA. NOPE.

I guess, to a hack-happy public, what’s obvious must not be, and there simply MUST be an easier, faster way to a fitness trainer’s body without doing the work.

Have at it, Sparky.

A while back National Public Radio conducted a series of interviews with a bunch of lively, energetic oldies in the Chicago suburbs. What was their secret? Well, Merle writes about what makes our brains a decade younger in this article, which is precisely what NPR found out:

Stop asking and just start DOING

Merle, and Markham Heid, and Maria Cross MSc and others write smart, well-researched, thoughtful articles about health, nutrition and the Great Secrets to feeling young longer.

They all tend to agree. Why? Because the research bears them out.

Because the science is indisputable.

Those of us who live it, like Vienna De Vega and Warren Nelson and Joseph Geary and Rosennab and Margaret Kruger, all of whom are athletes well past fifty, are walking-talking-writing examples of how those basics work.

None of these people is a paid shill Influencer peddling bullshit cures, lotions, potions, pills or magic mats you can lie on and stand up feeling twenty years younger. I made that up. NO! Wait! I just Google it and it’s really a thing. See this:

Look. People.

You and I can believe any damned thing we want. We can buy any stupid fool pill or product or sunbathe our anuses, all of which I have mocked elsewhere for damned good reason. Because they are STUPID and so are we for even considering most of this stuff. But that’s just me. That doesn’t make me right. It just makes me full of my own opinions.

For my part, I am just done with anything that makes ridiculous promises, which is most of the stuff that people spend billions on to try to hack or shortcut their way to physical perfection.

What Merle doesn’t tell you, which is the news nobody seems to want to embrace, is that yes. While all those things will make you biologically younger, you will still

Age
Wrinkle
Sag
Go grey
Lose hair
Eyesight may well deteriorate among other things
Eventually die.

That’s not bad news. That’s just life. The problem with those of us wielding our wallets is that when we read a title that implies that we can turn the clock back, the first thing that comes to mind is that we want to look young. In fact, we’ll put looking young and thin above health almost every single time. I sure as hell did for a while and very nearly killed myself off trying to do it. I got old(er) anyway. For my part, it makes more sense to save my bucks to make memories, the kind that require me to be in damned good shape.

Unless you have unlimited funds for Botox and surgical procedures like the perpetually lovely but ever-enhanced

If you’ve got that kind of money and pain tolerance, have at it. Most of us just weren’t born with her bone structure, so if I may suggest, it might be kinder, cheaper, wiser to simply fall in love with ourselves to the point where we make the best of what we have.

Best way to do that? Don’t hold your breath:

Move a lot, eat smart, have a purpose and be surrounded by friends.

Merle writes, based on the Turn Back the Clock report:

The exercise prescription called for at least 30 minutes of exercise per day, at least 5 days per week, at an intensity of 60–80% of maximum perceived exertion.

The sleep prescription was to simply average a minimum of 7 hours of sleep per night.

Having gotten my eight hours, it’s almost six am at my house. I am off to the gym.

To turn back my aging clock. And when I get back I am having eggs.

But then, that’s just me. From where I sit, inching towards seventy, I no longer have time to waste chasing miracle cures. I want to be in the miracle called life, as long as I can, as vibrantly as I can.

I hope you do, too.