Oh My Aching (Back, Traps, Lats, Shoulders, etc)…

A few quick fixes for those who sit a bit too much, courtesy my PT

I won’t insult your intelligence by talking about your work posture (seated). Chances are we’re all guilty to some extent of slouching, especially as we get more tired. Except those of you who don’t. You know who you are (and I hate you, natch, you people with gorgeous natural posture).

Short of duct-taping a two-by-four to my spine, there are some things I’ve used which have helped deal with the inevitable discomfort in our upper bodies, one of the side effects of sit/work all day plus quarantine.

Here, then, are some very quick fixes, ranging from the best to the easiest on-hand, especially if you happen to have a dog who loves to play fetch. Stay with me here, I may be nuts, but smart-nuts.

First, the Thera-cane. I have some other brand’s version of this thing. Lots of different kinds available on line and the price points vary a lot. This one is apparently still available for shipping (nb this is NOT an affiliate link, I have no relationship with these people):

I got mine, which is smaller and simpler, from the sale bin at TJ Maxx, now closed. However the idea is very simple: you angle the hard ball end against a trigger point (and my entire back is a trigger point) and pull forward until you feel uncomfortable pressure. This is simply myofascial work. The pressure right on top of that trigger point releases it.

You could probably make one of your own, but you’re smarter than I am if you do. That’s not a difficult feat to accomplish. Not the cane. Being smarter than I am.

No, it doesn’t feel good while you do it. It feels good after you stop. You can go after your triggers in stages.

Lacrosse ball

You can get precisely the same kind of value here, but it takes your lying on the floor, and positioning that hard ball right on the same point. You lift your lower body and/or press down until you feel the pressure right on that point. Same thing. Slightly less easy, but it has the added benefit of inviting you to do a little lower back stretching while you’re at it. If, that is, you stop screaming long enough to stretch your back as opposed to your lung muscles.

The reason this works so well is that it’s a solid, hard, compact ball. That’s the best kind.

If you live alone, and getting up after lying down is difficult, try doing this while standing against a wall. You can always use touch up paint later. Even better, put a small towel between the lacrosse ball and the wall.

Tennis Ball (used or unused)

See Lacrosse ball, but be advised that the tennis ball won’t last as long, might well be covered with filthy dog slobber, and may split in two after a few uses. Which may definitely annoy Wiggles.

Of course, if all your sports stores are closed (mine are) and all the workout gear is sold out for curbside pickup (mine is), the I suggest fighting Wiggles for what’s left of the playtoy supplies, washing or wiping them down, and banning Wiggles to the basement until you’re done.

Or just raid the refrigerator.

Lemons, Limes, and other hard fruits

Note to self: 1) Ask permission before stealing from kitchen. 2) Argue that you’re just softening them up for the gin and tonics. 3) State that you’re helping them ripen faster. 4) Don’t use on the rug. 5) Let me repeat. Do NOT use on the rug without something to catch the juice. They will squish. 6) Roll onto your trigger points, cut and make G&T. Feeling better already.

Not recommended against the wood paneling in your den. Not if you live with someone who cares about the furnishings, anyway, and you plan to make it through quarantine alive. Saying the kids did it won’t fly if they’re under the age of two and you’re 6'5" and 280 pounds.

Finally- you get the idea. Find something that is rounded, won’t impale you under pressure, but that places increasing pressure on those points which hurt the most.

Speaking of pressure, screaming loudly when I press really hard puts a smile on my face, confuses the neighbors, and has got the new pair of nesting owls in my northern pine trees genuinely curious.

Whatever works.