When Is a Miracle Cure Not a Miracle Cure?

When it’s not a miracle cure and science says so. That’s when.

Yesterday, before I crawled into the cat-piss scented comfort of my realtor’s staging couch ( I can smell, this is one way I know I’m good….for now hahahahaha), I read an article about a respiratory “fix” by a man I have since stopped following.

Two things. This person has no medical credentials. Zero, zap, zip, nada.

Second, he was pushing turmeric. Look, those of us who have any knowledge of herbs are likely at least somewhat aware of the benefits of turmeric. He suggested a recipe to make them into balls and that was supposed to help with respiratory distress.

Yah. The clear but not stated implication was that this would help with the C-word.

Kindly. Please. I sent him a very politely-worded note that pointed out that turmeric, along with other herbs, can be problematic for certain categories of folks, like me, who have bleeding disorders. Here’s the list of popular herbs and foods that thin the blood:

While yes, under normal circumstances, turmeric might well be useful, with all things it depends.

If a person is already on blood thinners, this could be disastrous.

Certain of those herbs can have serious side effects with certain prescriptions.

Those of us, and my hand is up, who are hemophiliacs, are at serious risk for bleeding to death if we get these products into our systems.

I love onions. Garlic. Cinnamon. LOVE them. Can’t have them.

I have had migraines for years. People have pushed feverfew on me. That also thins the blood.

Over the years I’ve had even more folks tell me to increase my vitamin E. That does, too.

Something might work for you, or you think it does, but that is meaningless in the larger picture unless there are studies to back it up.

No studies back up any value for turmeric for treatment of this current pandemic.

See what I mean?

While you and I would love to be heroes, suggesting “cures” for any reason, for any condition, is dangerous unless we have the right credentials.

“My mother’s brother’s third cousin once-removed tried this and it smoothed out all her wrinkles.” That made Preparation H (for hemorrhoids, kindly) VERY popular as a face cream. Until everyone turned into assholes, but I digress. I just read the Kardashians use it. I will refrain, but just barely. Apparently, for some folks it’s now a permanent condition, like blue skin from Alex Jones’ magic toothpaste cure.

That’s one cure that won’t be showing up in the annual Vermont Country Store catalog.

Dolly Beaver in a tiny treatement room on the Tahuayo River

Kindly. I’ve traveled a great many places, including deep into the Amazon. A shaman there talked me through his entire collection of herbs and cures, many of which, in a different form, you and I have in our medicine cabinets. In the particular area where I traveled, to the small riverside villages along the Tahuayo, I wrote a series of articles about Dolly Beaver. Dolly is an indigenous Peruvian Indian. She’s also married to Dr. Paul Beaver, perhaps the greatest expert on the Amazon living today. For years, Dolly has been gently introducing Western medicine to the Tahuayo, but only after the local shaman has done what he can. When that shaman is stumped, as with cancer or internal bleeding, he turns the patient over to Dolly’s people, and the patient is rushed to a hospital in Iquitos.

Dolly understands the difference between shamanistic rituals and what they can and cannot do, and where Western medicine needs to come it. It’s a delicate balance, but many a villager’s life has been saved because of the trust she built with the villagers and the shamans. That’s just a part of the good work she’s done but her example is what I ask that we consider right now.

There is a time and a place for such cures. This is not one of them.

The following article is not from The Man in the Moon, the Guru on the Mountain or anyone else who does not have credentials. This is from a doctor on the front lines of this fight:

For those of you who may not know or remember, Dr. Hunter has been on the absolute forefront of this, right at Ground Zero for the virus in Seattle, from Day One.

I trust what he provides. Why? One, you can research Dr. H. You can research any of his material. You can verify what he said.

When Dr. H. says “we” he means the medical community. Look, I have my own issues with doctors for different reasons. But in this case, I am far more afraid of some lunatic miracle cure (gargle with bleach, whydon’tcha, and yes that is a thing) than the folks doing their level best to level the curve.

If you have some rat-guts/bat retinas/tortoise toenail concoction that’s supposed to fix this virus, you are no better, if not worse, than Alex Jones. I won’t even go there.

No matter how well-intended, that could do terrible harm to people for whom, like me, something like turmeric could cause me to bleed to death from a small scratch. Not everyone knows the things that are odd or different about their bodies. In fact, most of us are in denial about them. When panicked we are even more susceptible.

You wanna make money? Pull out your lawnmower and help the folks who are old and housebound. That’s useful. People need it. Soon, here. Now, down south.

Please restrain yourself from putting utter, dangerous nonsense masquerading as cures on the Internet. Medium cannot fact-check. You may not think it’s nonsense. It might be a family cure from the Middle Ages.

But it is not going to work against this thing. And it could get you into serious trouble.

Think this isn’t such a big deal? More and more religious leaders are being arrested for much the same thing:

With all due respect to individual beliefs, this kind of brutal ignorance kills.

Is killing people. All over the world.

Not a doctor? Not an expert? Kindly, put a roll of socks next to your computer the next time you have the urge to publish Aunt Susan’s Magic Fungus recipe that cures all. I have one myself any time I think I have something to say about these Conditions and I don’t have the credentials:

Her recipe might just do that. Including curing people from living the rest of their lives.

While part of me is trying to make this funny, with respect, suggesting unproven cures for something that is engaging the best medical minds the world can offer is just, uncalled for.

Respectfully. Put a sock in it. Let the real pros do the real work.